July 2022

Today’s Resolution: Take a Silly Photo of Yourself

You can’t be serious all the time, you know? You gotta hunker down, grow a little humility and tell yourself, “it’s OK to relax and be silly once in a while”. This might seem like a silly resolution in itself, but judging by overload of boob and ab shots on Facebook, it’s definitely about time we all got a little sillier and stopped worrying about our double chins, crooked teeth, or whatever our personal insecurity is. Be silly, take a photo, and post it for the world to see.

Status: #11 COMPLETE: Spent All Day Taking Stupid Photos

Today’s Resolution: Wrap Up Early and Unwind

I’m not going to go out there and say “go home and get wasted tonight” because I’m a proper lady and I’m sensitive to the issues of alcoholics. However, there are lots of ways to unwind and today you have permission to say, “it’s 5 o’clock (or whatever o’clock you work on), and I’m off the clock”. Do absolutely nothing but exactly what you want for the duration of your evening. You deserve it.

Today’s Resolution: Make a New Friend

The world of social networks somehow brings us all together yet so painfully far apart at the same time. “Like, I totally responded to all of your posts for the past year, so why do we need to get coffee and catch up? Guh! You’re so needy!”

So while you’re passive-aggressively putting those meetups off, let’s try to start fresh. Today your goal is to make a new friend. Maybe they won’t be a lifelong friend, and maybe they’ll just be a new friend you made in line at the grocery store. Regardless, let’s make a friend. Ask them what they do, who they are, how they get their teeth so white… you know, all the usual new-friend stuff.

Today’s Resolution: Eat Something New

When I was a kid, I had three basic food groups: vanilla ice cream, cheese pizza, and orange juice. My mom would try to throw in a little meatloaf and chicken pot pie for dinner, but when you’ve got lunch money and public school, you can buy all the snacks you want.

Thankfully, sometime around the time I met Patrick and he convinced me that red wine would change my life (it did), we started going crazy with the palate-testing. Squid ink pasta at Chez Henri in Cambridge, MA was probably my most memorable-looking dish, but I had pig nose at some place in Chicago too and that’s an image that will stay with me, probably forever.

So today, try something new. I’m in St. Thomas this week, so there’s bound to be something crazy to try out.

Today’s Resolution: Drink 3 Cups of Green Tea

Not only do we not drink enough water every day, but we definitely don’t drink enough tea… right? And don’t worry, green tea is wicked manly too, so it’s cool.. just ask Kevin Rose.. he’s totally manly and that dude loves his tea.

More importantly, green tea is said to help you lose weight and is pretty much proven to reduce anxiety tremendously within 48 hours just by drinking three cups a day. Let me know how you feel at the end of the day. And drink decaf if you need to, I will be.

Today’s Resolution: Read a Book For At Least One Hour Today

Reading reddit doesn’t count for this one today, sorry bubs. Remember those stacks of paper, intricately bound together? They’ve got words and stuff on them, probably in a typeface like Times New Roman. Ew, right? It’s cool, you can use your Kindle, iPad, or whatever electronic device you use to consume print media. Or, you can open a real book, flip real pages, and do it old school.

Whatever your preferred method, your goal today is to read a book  for at least an hour. Reading is proven to reduce stress, and we could all use a little break from reality, so if you’ve been meaning to catch up on a book you put down weeks ago, or you haven’t picked one up in years (that’s me), today take an hour to sit and relax with a story.

And when you’re done, report back on what you read!

Today’s Resolution: Act Like a Superhero

If people didn’t like superheroes, the box office would be broke right now. So today, be a superhero: a superhero of household chores, a superhero of getting your own coffee, a superhero of standing up for someone getting picked on, a superhero of holding the door for a line of people that never seems to end… you get it. Be awesome. Be independent. Be “the better person”.

Unless you’re physically unable to do something, don’t ask for help today. Instead, help everyone else. Help people when they ask for it. Help people when they don’t ask for it. Choose your favorite superhero and go with it.

No capes necessary, just love for our fellow humans. Step into your invisible (or visible, if you like) superhero costume and for every situation today, ask yourself “how can I do this better than anyone else?” Then flex your muscles in the mirror like Popeye.

And when your day of crime-frighting ends today, a beer or glass of wine will surely be well-deserved.

Complete: Act Like a SuperHero (and other tales of crab-napping)…

Today’s Resolution: Tell Someone Unexpected That You Love Them

All you need is love, yes?

Forget “personal space” and all that “my parents didn’t hug me enough” boo-hoo’ing today. You love people, people love you. Lighten up! Hugs, smiles and fulfilling relationships have been scientifically proven to make you a happier person.

So for today, tell someone that you love them. They could be a friend, a parent who you haven’t talked to in a while, or a co-worker who always has your back.

You don’t have to sit down, take their hand, and look deeply into their eyes or anything; We’re not asking you to spark a bromance here. I mean, when’s the last time you told someone… “I love you, man” or… “girl, I freaking love you” while sober or otherwise semi-serious?

Today’s Resolution: Don’t Bad Mouth Anyone Today

Whether you hate Lady Gaga or that chatty barista at your local Starbucks who’s “slow as hell”—keep it to yourself today. Negativity attracts negativity and gossip only leads to more gossip. Have you ever noticed that when you get together with a group of people and one person starts bad-mouthing someone, suddenly it’s like a room full of bumble bees looking for honey?

Today, and just for today… shut up.

When you find yourself about to pop out something remarkably obnoxious and hateful, find a way to say something creatively positive instead. You might just find that a happy mouth is a happy mind.

Update: Resolution Complete – or so it would seem.

Today’s Resolution: Answer The Phone Every Time it Rings

Today could be tough for some, and easy for others. If you’re in good standing with all of your credit cards and you don’t have any annoying inlaws to ignore, today will be a good day for you. If there are people better ignored via the telephone, today may take a dose of bravery (or Xanax). Brace yourself, you might just resolve something unexpected today.